What I Wish I Knew in My Teenage Years || and What You Should Know now

I often look back at the years between fourteen and twenty-two  a time when I was full of dreams, hope, and energy.

 If I had the wisdom I have today, I would have lived those years completely differently.

I wouldn’t have wasted my time chasing meaningless friendships or fleeting crushes. 

I wouldn’t have let people who didn’t truly care dictate my energy, my focus, or my joy. Instead, I would have devoted myself to learning, exploring, and growing  to nurturing the person I was meant to become.

1. Dreams in Childhood vs Teenage Reality

When I was a child, I had endless dreams. I imagined a life filled with knowledge, creation, and discovery. I dreamed of learning languages, exploring new ideas, and filling my world with experiences that mattered.

But when I became a teenager, reality didn’t match the dreams I had painted in my mind. Friends who weren’t aligned with my values, superficial relationships, and distractions drew me away from my path. 

I found myself giving time and energy to people who neither supported nor inspired me.

Looking back, I realize those were my most formative years. 

Every moment I wasted was a lesson painful but invaluable.

2. The Pressure to Fit In

During my teenage years, the need to belong was overwhelming. 

I tried to fit in with people whose direction didn’t match mine.

 I laughed when I didn’t want to, agreed when I disagreed, and followed paths that weren’t mine just to feel accepted.

I didn’t know then that each compromise took away a piece of my identity.

 I lost focus on my own dreams, and the real me  the one filled with curiosity and passion  started to fade into the background.

3. The Cost of Giving Too Much

I gave endlessly my time, my energy, my support, even my imagination to friends who never truly valued it.

 I helped, encouraged, and even sacrificed for people who didn’t return the same care.

Sometimes I think of the hours I spent sharing ideas, helping with projects, or encouraging them to pursue their dreams. 

While they grew, I remained stuck, my potential untouched. 

I see now that loving and supporting others is beautiful, but not at the cost of neglecting yourself.

4. Heartbreaks and Lessons

The teenage years were also filled with love or what I thought was love.

 Relationships seemed important, urgent, and defining. 

But the connections I formed often left me with pain, betrayal, and self-doubt.

These experiences shook my confidence and made me question my worth. 

They distracted me from the work I should have been doing for myself.

 Yet, in hindsight, these heartbreaks were teachers. They taught me self-respect, boundaries, and the importance of choosing myself first.

5. The Moment I Saw Myself

There was a moment, somewhere between the chaos of wasted time and misplaced energy, when I truly saw myself. 

I realized that the person I had spent years trying to please, support, and entertain was not who I wanted to become.

I saw the dreams I had left behind, the creativity I had ignored, and the ambitions I never pursued.

 I understood how much time had slipped through my fingers, and the weight of every hour wasted became clear. 

That was the turning point when I confronted my own reality and decided that nothing and no one would steal my future again.

I understood that if I had invested in my own growth, learning languages, exploring my hobbies, studying ideas I loved, and dedicating myself to creation, I would already be living a life closer to my dreams.

6. Rediscovering My True Self

From that moment, I began the slow process of rediscovery.

 I explored what truly mattered to me  my creativity, my passions, and my curiosity. 

I sought knowledge for myself, cultivated skills that inspired me, and allowed myself to dream freely without distraction or doubt.

I learned that my time was precious and finite. I started to use it intentionally, dedicating energy to what mattered: books I wanted to read, languages I wanted to learn, ideas I wanted to explore, and hobbies that brought joy and meaning.

I realized that the real me  the one I had lost sight of  was still there, waiting to be nurtured. And for the first time, I felt aligned with my own life, not defined by others’ expectations or drama.

7. Advice to My Younger Self and Teenagers

If I could speak to my fourteen-year-old self, or any teenager reading this today, this is what I would say:

• Protect your time. Do not give your hours to people who will not value them.
• Focus on yourself first. Learn, explore, create, and nurture your own dreams.
• Don’t chase friendships or relationships that drain your energy or distract you from your path.
• Celebrate your curiosity. Study, explore, write, create, and let your imagination guide you.
• Trust yourself. Your intuition, your dreams, and your desires are valid.
• Love yourself enough to walk away from what doesn’t serve your growth.

Every moment invested in yourself compounds into a stronger, wiser, and more capable person.

8. Gratitude for the Journey

Looking back, I am grateful.

 Every disappointment, heartbreak, and wasted hour taught me something invaluable. 

They made me aware of my priorities, my values, and my potential.

Maybe I lost time, but I gained wisdom. Maybe I was naive, but I became stronger. Maybe I followed the wrong people, but I discovered my own path.

And today, as I reflect on those years, I thank myself and life for every lesson.

I am no longer the girl who lost herself to distractions or shallow connections.

 I am the woman who chose herself, her dreams, and her growth.

 I am aligned with who I truly am, and I am finally living in a way that honors every ounce of my time and energy.

If you’re a teenager or young adult reading this, take a moment today to invest in yourself. 

Protect your time, nurture your creativity, and honor your dreams.